The last day of my life
by Malicia Nocturna
Summary: My version of what happened on the last night Spike and Buffy spent together. (In Chosen)


Title: The last day of my life

Author: Malicia Nocturna / Krista

Email: krsani@utu.fi

Rating: G

Timing: Season 7

Pairing: S/B

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, they belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc. The story is mine.

Summary: My version of what happened on the last night Spike and Buffy spent together. 

~*~*~*~*~    

Spike thought she wouldn't show up. He was sitting on the bed in the basement and trying to spend time somehow. Suddenly he heard footstep.

 Buffy was walking down the stairs. It was the most beautiful sight Spike had ever seen. Everything about her was beautiful. Her shining hair, tiny body, perfect face, soft skin. Spike stared at her, his eyes carving her figure into his soul. He smelled her delicate scent and closed his eyes to enjoy it.

Buffy stopped to the end of the stairs.

Spike stood up from the bed.

Buffy looked at Spike like it was the first time she could really see him. 

It was possibly the last day of her life and here was the only place she wanted to spend it in. 

With him. 

Buffy walked to Spike and touched his face with her warm fingertips. 

Spike looked at her, surprised.

Her touch felt different now, there was nothing uncertain in it, nothing cold. 

The touch was soft and loving.

"What is it, luv?" he asked in confusion.

  
"Spike, this can be the last day of our lives," Buffy whispered.

"I know pet, I know."

Spike took Buffy's hand gently into his and pulled her close. He placed his arms around Buffy's tiny body. Buffy didn't try to pull back, she just looked at Spike thinking how stupid and blind she had been… How much time she had wasted. 

"Spike, sit on the bed with me," Buffy whispered into his ear and gently pulled away from his arms.

They sat on the bed, staring at each other. Buffy looked straight into Spike's beautiful eyes and let him explore her mind. There were no more secrets, no more hiding, no more denying. She opened her mind to Spike, who stared deep into her soul. Their eyes were portals, open and honest, and mirrors, reflecting the feelings and desire they both were feeling.   
  
Buffy broke the illusion.

"Spike… How can I ever apologize enough? How can I say how sorry I am for wasting all this time, wasting these years."  
"What are you talking about Buffy?"

"Shhh… Just listen to me. Let me speak."  
"Ok."  
"I have tried so hard not to care. I tried to convince myself that you were nothing to me. But I was so wrong. I treated you so badly and I am sorry. I am so sorry….," tears started to fall from her eyes.

"Buffy love, there is nothing to be sorry about," Spike tried to comfort her. He was amazed by her words, confused.

"Oh yes there is. We don't have time… I wasted all that time. I could have given you so much more."  
"Buffy, you gave me everything I needed. I am the happiest man on the world because I have been able to spend time with you, hold you… Love you. It's the most amazing thing I've ever experienced."

"Spike, can you ever forgive me?"

"I love you Buffy. Everything is forgiven. I wish I could have been better man…"

"Spike, please don't. You ARE a good man. I am the fool here, I realized that too late. But I understand it now, how you have always made me complete in every way. You are the perfect match for me, you have always been."  
  


Buffy leaned closer to Spike. She kissed him gently on the lips. 

"You are the only one for me, Spike. This might be the last day of my life, but it is the first day when I don't feel lonely or insecure anymore."  
"This won't be the last day, Slayer."  
"You don't know that."  
"I know it Buffy because I believe in you. Like you believed in me, I believe in you. There is nothing in this world that could beat you, you can survive from anything. You will live through tomorrow and walk out as a winner. You'll survive."

"But not without you," Buffy whispered and kissed Spike again.

Spike grabbed her into his arms. This was the most perfect moment of his life. He looked at Buffy and kissed her, almost violently. Every cell of Buffy's body reacted to his kiss, she could feel the flames of desire burning her from the inside. She kissed Spike, desperately, trying to make up all the wasted time. 

But she wasn't done yet. There were still things to say. Again she pulled away from him and placed her hands on his palms. 

"Spike, I am afraid. I don't know what is waiting for us down there tomorrow."

"I am afraid too. I don't fear the First Evil, I am afraid of losing you."  
Spike smiled to Buffy and ran his fingers through her golden, shiny hair.

"I want you to be there by my side all the time. If we survive I want to walk out of there with you, side by side, together. I can't do this without you."  
"I will be there luv, like I've always been. I won't leave you out of my sight."  
"Promise?"  
"I promise."

Buffy wiped the tears away.

"If this is the last day of my life there is one thing I want to do."  
"What is it, tell me pet."

"I want you to make love to me, once more."  
  


Spike was almost shocked. He stared at Buffy for a moment, speechless. Then he took her into his arms once more. If this was the last time he had the chance to touch her, feel her perfect skin next to his…. The thought was too painful. 

His eyes were suddenly filled with pain and Buffy understood what he was thinking.

"This is not the last night, it's not the last time Spike, it feels like the first day of my new life. With you."

And Spike could see that she meant every word she said. No more worries, no broken heart. They were together, and they were complete. Spike leaned to kiss her and before their lips met she whispered the magical words.

"Spike, I love you."


End file.
